Through all of it, I'm still a dreamer.
Greetings guys, here I am again updating.
Last week we had a week of holidays, rather than having fun, I'm more to waste my time. So, as time passed, school re-open. I'm having a bright day at school with my cutie bestie and classmates. Through these days I thought I will never bothered with j presence. But too sad, I bothered a lot. Though I looks bright outside, I still doubting my feeling inside. It's not an ordinary feeling for sure, it's a mixed feeling. This feelings that consists of sad, confuse, wonder & tired.
I have tried a thousand ways to forget him... I said to myself, I must, I should & I have to forget this guy, or your heart will be broken to a million pieces. Gosh, I tell myself I don't want to be broken, seriously. But I wonder.. How to forget him? How could I not care abt him? How could I stop my feeling from keep liking him? How? Yeah, that's the question that keep lingering in my heart & mind.
To keep this guy throned in my heart was not a day, or a week. It took a very long time. And to forget him? It doesn't take a day or a week or even a month. It's so hard. Never feel this situation? Then you never been deeply in love yet. Don't try it, I tell you. It's hard. It's hurt. And it's pain.
For all this time, I know he's too good for me. Too good. & even my bestie said like that. "yeah he's too good for you". So I'm telling myself, to have a desire to get him.. That's a stupid idea ever. Because I am a dreamer. Dream never come true. If even it comes true, I will go back to my dream again. What is that mean? Dream NEVER come true. So. He's too good, I'm too bad. Like what my brother said; "Pretty man with pretty girl, ugly with ugly. Don't believe me? Welcome to the world, lady."
So.
Through all of it, I'm still a DREAMER.
See ya peeps,
Joyce
The Baddest Female
Hi again! Two updates in two days. Whoah, wo hen li hai right? xD
Sure, you may wonder. "Lol what is wrong with this girl? Yesterday she's like so hopeless. So poor. Too much sadness. But now? The baddest female?" Yes you may wonder. You ask me, I don't know. Human are like that. Changes in a hast.
Well yeah actually, I do want to be the baddest female. Why? Girls, don't be so nice. People would steps your heart like an ant lost in a crowd and BAM! The ant has been stepped by the cruel peoples that walk around. Lol! That's true so! Don't be TOO nice, I tell you. Being nice is okay but TOO nice is just nasty.
[But anyway, please, don't try this at home.]
Baddest female defined,
•Don't peek to any guy.
•Don't be talkative. [Talk whenever you want but don't talk whenever you feel don't.]
•Don't give any smile to strangers.
•Always the top.
•Be charisma.
•Never be cute girl.
•NEVER EVER PLS EVER DON'T CURSE. Don't even trying it.
•Focus only in front of you when you're walking. Don't even bother to peek at the most popular girls or guy. [DON'T ever. They will assume you likes them.]
Sounded so not baddest isn't it? But that's how I survive.
√Don't ever let others think you are typical and can be their pets. NO. You always the TOP.
To be nice is important but you have to change. Changes for good. Being the coolest girl ever. Don't panic, you're home.
Good day ahead,
Darkness in my eyes but lights up in the sky.
Oh hi everyone! It's been a very long time isn't it? So much busy with extraordinary life and it is so tiring, honestly. Especially when there's a lot of bad things happened to my country, that is so sad. But, anyway, today I won't write about my country's conditions. Since this is my special comeback, I will write a lot about me, myself & life.
To say about life, life is always unfair. I know if you could answer me, you'll say OH MAN INDEED SIR. To be honest, I've through a lot of bad things or more informal way, shits do always happens in my life. First thing first, if you're with me since the beginning of my blogpost, you will know & understand how much I love that guy before but then of you keep reading, you'll ask "What?! Gave up?! What happened?!" That's funny isn't it? More funnier when that guy actually likes my best friend. That is so sad. That is hurts. So I back off, you gotta know that and if you do have a best friend, you'll do the best and take a good care of your best friend. It is inevitable! You just cannot, you have to.
So that's why, I moved on. To someone that too high standard, too high class, too handsome. While me, Gosh, don't ask, you can tell.. Why do I always tell to others that "Man I tell you, it's impossible. No way for that. Way just no." Because we are like the sea and horizons. The stars and sun. The night and day. We just can't meet to each other. Never meet! OhG I almost forgot that, we're like beauty and the beast! He's beauty & you understand I am as what.
My friends always do say, "Joyce, nothing is impossible! "Don't say such things. You guys will make it." Girls, please. I know. Just thank you for that but I know there's no way for that. Just nowadays, I totally down for all things around me. It is a completely lie, if I never jealous with my best friend. Everything she do is just beautiful, perfection. I never get compliment to any of my friend, like seriously. I am serious. If I walk side-by-side with my best friend, all compliments are to her. When peoples walk passing by they will say "Oh, m, you're so pretty" The more hurtful is when I am with my typical friends, looking at my best friend, keep giving out compliment to her. "How fair is her skin!" "Joyce, isn't her beautiful?" SIGH.
GUYS PLS. I WALK WITH HER EVERYDAY, I'VE KNOWN HER FOR A LONG TIME AND HOW COULD I NOT REALISED THAT SHE'S SO PRETTY? SERIOUSLY, GUYS?!
but I just talk in my heart so no one heard but me.
Of course, I do proud of her. She has grown well. Even my ex-crush like her too. Don't be mad, mei, I love you so!
But I just think I am not in a good luck-way right now. Everything never be alright. My heart speaks a lot, but I only can express this.
I believe, one day, I will be alright. One day, I will fly out from this unlucky box.
Like what Wu Yi Fan say "Darkness in my eyes but lights up in the sky."
I love you Yifan, your voice is so good. Good luck for you, good luck for me.
Till then,
J
-
Hi there :)
I want to tell abt what happened to my mom but. We're need privacy as well :)
Yesterday, I saw Lisa online in facebook. I really want to tell her abt my mom and want her to pray for my mom.. So that morning I pm her; Lisa I said. She didn't reply me so I offline again. But then I online again after several hours to talk with Mei that I cannot join them due my mom is in hospital that time. So I found Lisa message for me. ;Psst~ Sorry late rep.; I felt so sad that time bcs she has her time commenting her best friend's post while she don't even have a time to answer my pm especially during my hard times.
I forget abt it and I met Lisa that night in the church. So, I talked to her like usual and like nothing happened. I also asked her why did she commented her best friend's post but don't reply me instantly, but she replied me; She posted that to make her friends jealous of our friendship, actually there's no such thing happened. I even don't online this morning. She's the one who posted it, commented it; by herself. She said. So I said, Oh okay, that's typical liv.
I checked Lisa's cell phone to see her pictures and so on so on. Blame me, but I checked her message in her cell phone too. I saw that name; Liv. I read them all.. I don't care if Lisa be friend with Liv, but one message that make me so down was, I saw she text Lisa these. ;I did posted something in your fb to jealous my friend! And you know what, Joyce inbox me ah -.-; Lisa replied back ;What did she said?; Liv explained ;She said Lisa and then I replied back, psst~ sorry late reply; Lisa replied back ;Oh..;
And I looked at Lisa with a burden heart, how dare Liv said like that. I don't blame Lisa for all these. She's innocent but Liv.. Like omg? You just get to know Lisa couple years and you just like "OMG LISA IS MINE" I mean I know, go ahead, I have my own best friend too but Lisa is just like my sister, I do know her families, she know my families well, and even her cousins. oh almost forget it, her grandmother too! I've been went to her village and same goes to her too. She went to mine.
I pm her to pray for my mother and do you think I would be jealous just bcs of that posted? NO. I've known her almost entire of my life, since I am three and she's four. We've known each other for a very long time and to compete jealousing me? That's such a loser.
kbye,
Joyce
ABSENT FEELING
Hi all :) Whoah it's 2014 already right? :D
I have a lot of SAD story in the early 2014. It's like, It's not my year, baby.
It's been almost a year I'm crushing on him. I still remember the first time I saw my crush, he's the first perfect guy that I ever seen. His perfect eyes, perfect nose, perfect lips and all perfect. He's the most stunning guy I ever met. When I became head-over-heels to him, I feel like the butterflies attack my stomach whenever I saw him. Do you know what? I'm just a typical girl that really fell in love with someone. But then one day I'd knew that he's crushing on someone THAT REJECT HIM. I mean, no way right? It's impossible the most perfect guy like you and you just like... REJECTING him. I just know it I mean, I felt it right; that the girl like him also.. And they're just shy to confess.
Well of course, I won't give up. I don't lose hope. And I say to myself, hell no! I would NEVER give up. But one day.. I reflect my appearance in front of the mirror and the first think I do is; sigh. I feel so down after that day, I mean when you look at the mirror and then compare yourself with the girl that he's crushing on which i don't know if he still but , We're just different! She's more pretty, pretty skin, pretty alls, ; the most perfect couple if they really be together in the future or i don't know if they already in relationship. To in love with someone that don't know if you ever exist is just hell-like-feel.
And the moment I see all my best friends become a beautiful girls and getting pretty, just make me down again. Sometimes i mean always I wonder why I never been like them, why I never have a skin like them and WHY and WHY and WHY and another WHY. To be hurt in your heart make you suffering a lot. And I was just like Phew it's hurt ma'am! Tears that I dwelled so much and tears that always flows, becoming a river tears and what I'm gonna to do right now is BUILD a bridge so that I can survive which in the other word; ME PERSUADE ME
I'm just tired of hiding, I'm tired for being a loser, I'm SO tired for being a WORST girl and I'm so TIRED and TIRED.
See you,
WalterJ
Anti-social
Bello.
I think I will be an Anti-social-lover forever. Why? Because everything will end like a trash whenever I want to be friendly and give everyone a sweet smile. You know what? This is peoples. Peoples are always unpredictable.
When I try to be like Sher, Kim, Lydia, Veron, Jess and more, I'm always the worst ever. I learn from them how to say HI.. how to smile with peoples.. how to chat with peoples with a sweet voice or smile. Just.. I cannot success. I think I should go back to my OWN world, The Anti-Social-lover.
-Sighhhh- I got a pmr trial on Friday, and it's a Maths subject. It's not because I don't know the question but I just want to try if them (boys) will teach me like the other girls too. Before the test, I go to SYL (not a real name) 's table . I said like this "Hi, mind to teach me? How is this?" With a not-good-manner, and even not look at the question, he reply "I don't know."
And I was just like.. I'm such A BIG FAT CHICKEN LOSER. I don't look at anyone. I just hate his manner. I forgive him at first, but then I saw he teach other peoples 30 minutes before the test. I feel bad.. SO BAD.
I tell Choi about it, and she said "Don't be sad, he's just jealous to you because you always got Top 3 in class and the latest exam, you got number 1. Don't worry, I'm getting hate him, his manner is not like his face."
I cannot be friendly. Just I CAN'T
There's more stories, but I don't want to write anymore, :(
Yours never,
Joyce.
Even I don't know
Hi :) I'm here again.
It's about my crush. I'm sure he's bad mood right now. Not sure, but.. just maybe. Just now, my brother don't fetch me on time, so I stand in front of the school gate, waiting for him. Suddenly my friend, Kim say hello to me. I was so happy because I have a friend to talk. At first I ask her about her eyes and whatsoever about girls. We laugh and then I remember she and my crush are classmates. So I pretend to forgot her class. Then I ask her, "what is your class again? *2 or *1?" Just in case, I'm afraid that she will realize that I'm going to talk about him. "*1. how could you forget that.. #laugh " "Oh sorry.. Well, who do you think is the most handsome in your class?" And I felt so stupid, WHY'D I ASKED HER LIKE THAT? but thank God she still not realize. "Hmm, ******** . He is so handsome! Do you know which one is him?" My crush. She's talking about my crush. Yes, can't deny, he is the handsome man I ever met. "Yes, of course I know! but why must him? Everyone tell me like that. #faking laugh" Loser. I'm faking it. "Omg Joyce, don't you know? He is so handsome! He is crazily handsome!" Sorry fella, you know what? I stalk him everyday, stare at him everyday, how could I don't know? "Hahaha, really? Hey but I've listen that Evie (not a real name) like him right? Like, I mean, totally in love?" DAMN. It's hurt to know, but I need to know. "#nod# Yes, she is totally in love. She like him so much, it's her crush. #laugh#" If I can tell the world too, you'll know too. :( "Is he naughty?" "Yes, even I like him before. #laughs# and just now discipline teacher came in our class, and the teacher caned him." "What? Caned? Why?" "Do you know who is Ong? (not a real name) He reported to Teacher Thien that ******** throw away his stuff, but not just this time, last time, Ong reported to T Thien that his RULER was missing. Just a RULER! SO CHILDISH!" My mouth hung open, noooo the fat childish reported to T Thien that his stuff we thrown, but you know what? it's only a tissue!! And the punishment is caned in front of the class? OMG.
"So how's him? Angry?" "Yes, but he just keep quiet. He said he don't want to punch anyone right now." "Whoah, do you mean, like, he always punch peoples?" "No, he never involve in a rumble." "Oh.." And then my brother came.
But the things that make me down today is..
My best friend, Choi tell me like this. "Joyce, isn't Chinese always like their own race? I mean their species. Right? Don't you think?"
YES. Usually like that. But hell ya, I'm SINO. :( but still I'm not CHINESE..
After that, on my way back to home, in the car, I tell my brother that there's a man in my school, he is so handsome, tall and just perfect! But then he told me this, it's like so make me down.. Like he knew that I like him, but I didn't tell anything about the feeling!
"Lady, you know what. It's so hard for him to find a girl." I ask WHY? "Because he is so handsome. He have to find a pretty girl too. Too hard to find a pretty girl, you know?" And I said, NOT REALLY. I DON'T THINK SO. " so you think he will find an ugly girl? NEVER! This is world, Lady. Ugly with ugly. Pretty with pretty. Don't believe me? WELCOME TO THE WORLD."
I don't reply back. I keep quiet until we arrived at home.
I think he is true. Choi is true. Maybe it's only a dream. I don't worth it. hahahaha.
Especially when I saw the very pretty girl in my school talk to him just now, laugh and stare. Haha I felt crazy.
but wait, is it a crime to like him secretly?
EVEN I DON'T KNOW
-Lady :T
Older Posts
Through all of it, I'm still a dreamer.
Greetings guys, here I am again updating.
Last week we had a week of holidays, rather than having fun, I'm more to waste my time. So, as time passed, school re-open. I'm having a bright day at school with my cutie bestie and classmates. Through these days I thought I will never bothered with j presence. But too sad, I bothered a lot. Though I looks bright outside, I still doubting my feeling inside. It's not an ordinary feeling for sure, it's a mixed feeling. This feelings that consists of sad, confuse, wonder & tired.
I have tried a thousand ways to forget him... I said to myself, I must, I should & I have to forget this guy, or your heart will be broken to a million pieces. Gosh, I tell myself I don't want to be broken, seriously. But I wonder.. How to forget him? How could I not care abt him? How could I stop my feeling from keep liking him? How? Yeah, that's the question that keep lingering in my heart & mind.
To keep this guy throned in my heart was not a day, or a week. It took a very long time. And to forget him? It doesn't take a day or a week or even a month. It's so hard. Never feel this situation? Then you never been deeply in love yet. Don't try it, I tell you. It's hard. It's hurt. And it's pain.
For all this time, I know he's too good for me. Too good. & even my bestie said like that. "yeah he's too good for you". So I'm telling myself, to have a desire to get him.. That's a stupid idea ever. Because I am a dreamer. Dream never come true. If even it comes true, I will go back to my dream again. What is that mean? Dream NEVER come true. So. He's too good, I'm too bad. Like what my brother said; "Pretty man with pretty girl, ugly with ugly. Don't believe me? Welcome to the world, lady."
So.
Through all of it, I'm still a DREAMER.
See ya peeps,
Joyce
The Baddest Female
Hi again! Two updates in two days. Whoah, wo hen li hai right? xD
Sure, you may wonder. "Lol what is wrong with this girl? Yesterday she's like so hopeless. So poor. Too much sadness. But now? The baddest female?" Yes you may wonder. You ask me, I don't know. Human are like that. Changes in a hast.
Well yeah actually, I do want to be the baddest female. Why? Girls, don't be so nice. People would steps your heart like an ant lost in a crowd and BAM! The ant has been stepped by the cruel peoples that walk around. Lol! That's true so! Don't be TOO nice, I tell you. Being nice is okay but TOO nice is just nasty.
[But anyway, please, don't try this at home.]
Baddest female defined,
•Don't peek to any guy.
•Don't be talkative. [Talk whenever you want but don't talk whenever you feel don't.]
•Don't give any smile to strangers.
•Always the top.
•Be charisma.
•Never be cute girl.
•NEVER EVER PLS EVER DON'T CURSE. Don't even trying it.
•Focus only in front of you when you're walking. Don't even bother to peek at the most popular girls or guy. [DON'T ever. They will assume you likes them.]
Sounded so not baddest isn't it? But that's how I survive.
√Don't ever let others think you are typical and can be their pets. NO. You always the TOP.
To be nice is important but you have to change. Changes for good. Being the coolest girl ever. Don't panic, you're home.
Good day ahead,
Darkness in my eyes but lights up in the sky.
Oh hi everyone! It's been a very long time isn't it? So much busy with extraordinary life and it is so tiring, honestly. Especially when there's a lot of bad things happened to my country, that is so sad. But, anyway, today I won't write about my country's conditions. Since this is my special comeback, I will write a lot about me, myself & life.
To say about life, life is always unfair. I know if you could answer me, you'll say OH MAN INDEED SIR. To be honest, I've through a lot of bad things or more informal way, shits do always happens in my life. First thing first, if you're with me since the beginning of my blogpost, you will know & understand how much I love that guy before but then of you keep reading, you'll ask "What?! Gave up?! What happened?!" That's funny isn't it? More funnier when that guy actually likes my best friend. That is so sad. That is hurts. So I back off, you gotta know that and if you do have a best friend, you'll do the best and take a good care of your best friend. It is inevitable! You just cannot, you have to.
So that's why, I moved on. To someone that too high standard, too high class, too handsome. While me, Gosh, don't ask, you can tell.. Why do I always tell to others that "Man I tell you, it's impossible. No way for that. Way just no." Because we are like the sea and horizons. The stars and sun. The night and day. We just can't meet to each other. Never meet! OhG I almost forgot that, we're like beauty and the beast! He's beauty & you understand I am as what.
My friends always do say, "Joyce, nothing is impossible! "Don't say such things. You guys will make it." Girls, please. I know. Just thank you for that but I know there's no way for that. Just nowadays, I totally down for all things around me. It is a completely lie, if I never jealous with my best friend. Everything she do is just beautiful, perfection. I never get compliment to any of my friend, like seriously. I am serious. If I walk side-by-side with my best friend, all compliments are to her. When peoples walk passing by they will say "Oh, m, you're so pretty" The more hurtful is when I am with my typical friends, looking at my best friend, keep giving out compliment to her. "How fair is her skin!" "Joyce, isn't her beautiful?" SIGH.
GUYS PLS. I WALK WITH HER EVERYDAY, I'VE KNOWN HER FOR A LONG TIME AND HOW COULD I NOT REALISED THAT SHE'S SO PRETTY? SERIOUSLY, GUYS?!
but I just talk in my heart so no one heard but me.
Of course, I do proud of her. She has grown well. Even my ex-crush like her too. Don't be mad, mei, I love you so!
But I just think I am not in a good luck-way right now. Everything never be alright. My heart speaks a lot, but I only can express this.
I believe, one day, I will be alright. One day, I will fly out from this unlucky box.
Like what Wu Yi Fan say "Darkness in my eyes but lights up in the sky."
I love you Yifan, your voice is so good. Good luck for you, good luck for me.
Till then,
J
-
Hi there :)
I want to tell abt what happened to my mom but. We're need privacy as well :)
Yesterday, I saw Lisa online in facebook. I really want to tell her abt my mom and want her to pray for my mom.. So that morning I pm her; Lisa I said. She didn't reply me so I offline again. But then I online again after several hours to talk with Mei that I cannot join them due my mom is in hospital that time. So I found Lisa message for me. ;Psst~ Sorry late rep.; I felt so sad that time bcs she has her time commenting her best friend's post while she don't even have a time to answer my pm especially during my hard times.
I forget abt it and I met Lisa that night in the church. So, I talked to her like usual and like nothing happened. I also asked her why did she commented her best friend's post but don't reply me instantly, but she replied me; She posted that to make her friends jealous of our friendship, actually there's no such thing happened. I even don't online this morning. She's the one who posted it, commented it; by herself. She said. So I said, Oh okay, that's typical liv.
I checked Lisa's cell phone to see her pictures and so on so on. Blame me, but I checked her message in her cell phone too. I saw that name; Liv. I read them all.. I don't care if Lisa be friend with Liv, but one message that make me so down was, I saw she text Lisa these. ;I did posted something in your fb to jealous my friend! And you know what, Joyce inbox me ah -.-; Lisa replied back ;What did she said?; Liv explained ;She said Lisa and then I replied back, psst~ sorry late reply; Lisa replied back ;Oh..;
And I looked at Lisa with a burden heart, how dare Liv said like that. I don't blame Lisa for all these. She's innocent but Liv.. Like omg? You just get to know Lisa couple years and you just like "OMG LISA IS MINE" I mean I know, go ahead, I have my own best friend too but Lisa is just like my sister, I do know her families, she know my families well, and even her cousins. oh almost forget it, her grandmother too! I've been went to her village and same goes to her too. She went to mine.
I pm her to pray for my mother and do you think I would be jealous just bcs of that posted? NO. I've known her almost entire of my life, since I am three and she's four. We've known each other for a very long time and to compete jealousing me? That's such a loser.
kbye,
Joyce
ABSENT FEELING
Hi all :) Whoah it's 2014 already right? :D
I have a lot of SAD story in the early 2014. It's like, It's not my year, baby.
It's been almost a year I'm crushing on him. I still remember the first time I saw my crush, he's the first perfect guy that I ever seen. His perfect eyes, perfect nose, perfect lips and all perfect. He's the most stunning guy I ever met. When I became head-over-heels to him, I feel like the butterflies attack my stomach whenever I saw him. Do you know what? I'm just a typical girl that really fell in love with someone. But then one day I'd knew that he's crushing on someone THAT REJECT HIM. I mean, no way right? It's impossible the most perfect guy like you and you just like... REJECTING him. I just know it I mean, I felt it right; that the girl like him also.. And they're just shy to confess.
Well of course, I won't give up. I don't lose hope. And I say to myself, hell no! I would NEVER give up. But one day.. I reflect my appearance in front of the mirror and the first think I do is; sigh. I feel so down after that day, I mean when you look at the mirror and then compare yourself with the girl that he's crushing on which i don't know if he still but , We're just different! She's more pretty, pretty skin, pretty alls, ; the most perfect couple if they really be together in the future or i don't know if they already in relationship. To in love with someone that don't know if you ever exist is just hell-like-feel.
And the moment I see all my best friends become a beautiful girls and getting pretty, just make me down again. Sometimes i mean always I wonder why I never been like them, why I never have a skin like them and WHY and WHY and WHY and another WHY. To be hurt in your heart make you suffering a lot. And I was just like Phew it's hurt ma'am! Tears that I dwelled so much and tears that always flows, becoming a river tears and what I'm gonna to do right now is BUILD a bridge so that I can survive which in the other word; ME PERSUADE ME
I'm just tired of hiding, I'm tired for being a loser, I'm SO tired for being a WORST girl and I'm so TIRED and TIRED.
See you,
WalterJ
Anti-social
Bello.
I think I will be an Anti-social-lover forever. Why? Because everything will end like a trash whenever I want to be friendly and give everyone a sweet smile. You know what? This is peoples. Peoples are always unpredictable.
When I try to be like Sher, Kim, Lydia, Veron, Jess and more, I'm always the worst ever. I learn from them how to say HI.. how to smile with peoples.. how to chat with peoples with a sweet voice or smile. Just.. I cannot success. I think I should go back to my OWN world, The Anti-Social-lover.
-Sighhhh- I got a pmr trial on Friday, and it's a Maths subject. It's not because I don't know the question but I just want to try if them (boys) will teach me like the other girls too. Before the test, I go to SYL (not a real name) 's table . I said like this "Hi, mind to teach me? How is this?" With a not-good-manner, and even not look at the question, he reply "I don't know."
And I was just like.. I'm such A BIG FAT CHICKEN LOSER. I don't look at anyone. I just hate his manner. I forgive him at first, but then I saw he teach other peoples 30 minutes before the test. I feel bad.. SO BAD.
I tell Choi about it, and she said "Don't be sad, he's just jealous to you because you always got Top 3 in class and the latest exam, you got number 1. Don't worry, I'm getting hate him, his manner is not like his face."
I cannot be friendly. Just I CAN'T
There's more stories, but I don't want to write anymore, :(
Yours never,
Joyce.
Even I don't know
Hi :) I'm here again.
It's about my crush. I'm sure he's bad mood right now. Not sure, but.. just maybe. Just now, my brother don't fetch me on time, so I stand in front of the school gate, waiting for him. Suddenly my friend, Kim say hello to me. I was so happy because I have a friend to talk. At first I ask her about her eyes and whatsoever about girls. We laugh and then I remember she and my crush are classmates. So I pretend to forgot her class. Then I ask her, "what is your class again? *2 or *1?" Just in case, I'm afraid that she will realize that I'm going to talk about him. "*1. how could you forget that.. #laugh " "Oh sorry.. Well, who do you think is the most handsome in your class?" And I felt so stupid, WHY'D I ASKED HER LIKE THAT? but thank God she still not realize. "Hmm, ******** . He is so handsome! Do you know which one is him?" My crush. She's talking about my crush. Yes, can't deny, he is the handsome man I ever met. "Yes, of course I know! but why must him? Everyone tell me like that. #faking laugh" Loser. I'm faking it. "Omg Joyce, don't you know? He is so handsome! He is crazily handsome!" Sorry fella, you know what? I stalk him everyday, stare at him everyday, how could I don't know? "Hahaha, really? Hey but I've listen that Evie (not a real name) like him right? Like, I mean, totally in love?" DAMN. It's hurt to know, but I need to know. "#nod# Yes, she is totally in love. She like him so much, it's her crush. #laugh#" If I can tell the world too, you'll know too. :( "Is he naughty?" "Yes, even I like him before. #laughs# and just now discipline teacher came in our class, and the teacher caned him." "What? Caned? Why?" "Do you know who is Ong? (not a real name) He reported to Teacher Thien that ******** throw away his stuff, but not just this time, last time, Ong reported to T Thien that his RULER was missing. Just a RULER! SO CHILDISH!" My mouth hung open, noooo the fat childish reported to T Thien that his stuff we thrown, but you know what? it's only a tissue!! And the punishment is caned in front of the class? OMG.
"So how's him? Angry?" "Yes, but he just keep quiet. He said he don't want to punch anyone right now." "Whoah, do you mean, like, he always punch peoples?" "No, he never involve in a rumble." "Oh.." And then my brother came.
But the things that make me down today is..
My best friend, Choi tell me like this. "Joyce, isn't Chinese always like their own race? I mean their species. Right? Don't you think?"
YES. Usually like that. But hell ya, I'm SINO. :( but still I'm not CHINESE..
After that, on my way back to home, in the car, I tell my brother that there's a man in my school, he is so handsome, tall and just perfect! But then he told me this, it's like so make me down.. Like he knew that I like him, but I didn't tell anything about the feeling!
"Lady, you know what. It's so hard for him to find a girl." I ask WHY? "Because he is so handsome. He have to find a pretty girl too. Too hard to find a pretty girl, you know?" And I said, NOT REALLY. I DON'T THINK SO. " so you think he will find an ugly girl? NEVER! This is world, Lady. Ugly with ugly. Pretty with pretty. Don't believe me? WELCOME TO THE WORLD."
I don't reply back. I keep quiet until we arrived at home.
I think he is true. Choi is true. Maybe it's only a dream. I don't worth it. hahahaha.
Especially when I saw the very pretty girl in my school talk to him just now, laugh and stare. Haha I felt crazy.
but wait, is it a crime to like him secretly?
EVEN I DON'T KNOW
-Lady :T
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